7. A book written in the Middle East: Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir by Lamya H

List Progress: 17/30

Concepts of intersectionality have gained much more traction in the global conversations over the last few decades: how people from multiple different minority groups navigate the crossover points and conflicts between their simultaneously held identities. But some identities are still commonly seen as being in direct conflict with one another, as if being both things was some sort of contradiction. The author of the 2023 memoir Hijab Butch Blues, writing under the pseudonym Lamya H, is a feminist, a butch lesbian, and a devout Muslim. She does not see those things as in conflict, and in fact her relationship with her faith shapes much of her queer life and loves. Hijab Butch Blues traces Lamya’s life from her upbringing in an unnamed Middle Eastern country, to her education and adult life in the United States, to her first serious relationship, all while drawing parallels to stories and figures from the Quran that speak to her. Some of the parallels can feel like a bit of a stretch, but everyone’s faith journey is their own, and it is refreshing to read the thoughts of someone who has considered it so deeply.

Each chapter introduces a Quranic figure’s story and tells it alternating with a stage of Lamya’s life. She rejects conservative and strict readings of the lives of the prophets, and explores possibilities like Maryam being a lesbian. She finds meaning and solace in Islam even in the face of racism, sexism, homophobia, and the brutal bureaucracy of the American immigration system. But she also doesn’t shy away from the systems and beliefs that have been formed in Islam’s name. One of the most gripping chapters details how her mother has always idolized a resilient queen from the Quran, and how she has taken that lesson of resilience as an instruction on why it is important to stay with one’s abuser and never consider divorce. The same texts have taught these two women wildly different things and Lamya wants to find some way to reconcile the messages.

Not that everything has to be reconciled and clean. Lamya soundly rejects the idea that coming out is the be-all and end-all of queer life, and makes it clear that she never intends to come out to her family. There is some cognitive dissonance at play when she resents having to play the role of the “good Muslim” to her liberal American friends, while also acknowledging that she will never be openly queer in her wider Muslim community. But she is simultaneously building relationships and community with other queer Muslims; again, queerness and faith do not have to be contradictions.

Hijab Butch Blues might not appeal to people who don’t have at least some previous interest in religion, given how much of it is about diving deep into the heart of Islamic stories. But for anyone willing to give it a shot, there is a lot of powerful writing to be found here, and a lot of powerful truths under a false name.

Would I Recommend It: Yes.